why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize