I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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