trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
