He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
