$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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