This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Come on in and take your pants off
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