After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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