woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
