This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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