But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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