mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
