hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
