yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Randomize
