And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
