i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
