yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
