so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
