i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
