I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
