I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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