"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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