I'm lost and stupid without you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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