Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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