They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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