Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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