I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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