I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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