I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
