I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
