I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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