I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
