I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
