this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
