At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
