last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
