eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just invented taco cereal.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
