is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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