I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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