you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
