everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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