So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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