Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
