Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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