TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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