I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
