He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
