I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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