Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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