He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize