So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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