Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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