You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
