Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
