I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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