I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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