I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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