no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
