i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
