69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize