I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
