thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
