they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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