she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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