a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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