Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize