Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
