you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
