the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize