Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
