this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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